Exhausted By Life

I woke up this morning to Truett screaming for the 3rd day in a row, and I'm still deciding what my attitude should be. I know it should be a no-brainer, but I have to contemplate these things on a daily basis. I pray a lot about what to do in hard situations like this. I call them hard. Some wouldn't, but I do.

I don't have 5 kids. I have one, and I still think it's hard sometimes. I don't like for my kid to cry, but I am okay with him being fussy and letting him learn to get over some things on his own. I don't pick him up every time he makes a noise because I want him to be able to play by himself. He shouldn't always need my undivided attention. It's called self-play, and it's a wonderful thing for him and for me.

Needless to say, no matter how hard I try to ignore the new constant crying thing he's got going on (and I do mean constant) and just treat him as I normally would, playing with him sometimes (still crying), picking him up sometimes (still crying), talking to him (still crying), singing (still crying), feeding him (still crying), and letting him sit and play on his own (still crying), it's just hard. What is going on?! I really do have a lot of patience, but I don't have the understanding, and oh how that frustrates me. People tell me, "It must be his teeth, oh he must be sick, oh he's tired, oh he's hungry, oh...." No, he's really not. He's fine, and I'm 99% sure of it, because I've seen him in all of those situations and I know that there is nothing wrong with him. He's not sick, tired, hungry, wet, or teething. He's mad about life today. He does have happy moments in between the tantrums, of course, and we'll even sit and read a book quietly together, but for the most part, it's just been hard.

This morning I sat on the edge of my bed holding Truett at 6am after about an hour of his tears. He still continued to cry, so I joined him.

I know some of you would say, "Oh Michelle, call me!" I sure would, but it is almost a catch 22, because although I could call people, it's nearly impossible in the midst of a crying fit that never ends. Although I could go visit people, Truett would puke all over their stuff. It's not a might. It's a "No, he will ruin your couch or your carpet." Although I could go somewhere, him missing a nap on a cranky day like this really is the end of the world to me and not worth the trip to anywhere, plus I'd have to change his clothes about 5 times like usual, and it's just not worth it in the end. They sound like excuses don't they? Yeah, I'm pretty sure they are. But they are realistic. I know myself, and I know it's not worth it to get out of the house too much with a super soaker wearing cranky pants.

Sometimes being a mom is harder than teaching a class of middle-schoolers. People never talk about the bad days. I mean, who advertises that stuff? But I just want to be honest about the ups AND downs of parenting. There are 20 wonderful days for every 5 hard ones.

Today is a hard one. That's where God is my strength, because he always answers me when I ask him to help me. Always. Every time. In the midst of the storms, I will praise him all the more, because that is when I am reminded how much I need him. This morning was the most worshipful moment of the entire week, and I praised God in the midst of Truett's crying fit, because he never left me and he told me just what to do. He is my wisdom and my strength.


So yes, I believe it's possible to be joyful and full of thanks while feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by life. I am thankful today for so much, including each crying moment, each changed outfit, each smile, book, hug, and nap. God is good, all the time.

Call me crazy, but I'd take 10 more kids.

Materialism

I just deleted a 5 million word post about materialism that I spent an hour writing, because I realized that all I really needed to say could be summed up in a few words:

God didn't die for us to have more stuff. He didn't die so we could buy new shoes or 10 different purses. He died to save us, and if we give away anything and everything that we have, he promises to provide. Be generous with the one who was generous with you. By giving to others, you are being generous to God, because you are loving him completely and trusting him with your entire heart (and bank account). I don't mean just the leftovers either.

Make God the love of your heart.
Make God the love of your heart.
Make God the love of your heart.

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. Luke 12:34

Habits

What happens when your life is full of bad habits? When you don't exercise like you say that you will, when you don't make time to read the Bible, and when discipline is about as popular at your house as the Miami Heat. Yes, good habits can be hard to form, but they are always worth it.

Here's the thing, to form a great habit you have to repeat an action over and over. I didn't love Spinach salads, really ever, but once I started having it over and over for dinner, and I knew that it was healthier for me than lettuce, I made it a habit. We bought spinach instead of lettuce at the store, and over time, I actually grew to not only like Spinach, but CRAVE it. I don't really love lettuce anymore. Weird? Not really. It was a repeated action that turned into a habit and is now a lifestyle.

I can say the same for Scripture. I didn't always enjoy reading the Bible. As a kid, I thought many parts of the Bible were boring and for adults. Now, after making it a part of my daily life and memorizing verses, I don't see how life can be lived without it. I know that I need it every day to maintain a healthy attitude, and to know the how and why behind God's soft gentle whispers. How will I know if what I think I am hearing from God is really him? How will I know if what I'm doing is God's will? If I don't know what God says, I can easily be swayed by Satan's voice, so I had to know God's word.  I had to make it a habit.

"I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119: 11

No one is perfect. We all have habits we need to break or ones we need to form. Be a better you. Stop making excuses and decide on one habit you can change. Just one. And do it. Know your reason, repeat the action over and over, and pretty soon you'll be rockin a new habit. :)

So what about me? Well after this morning's 1 hour clean-my-room extravaganza, I've decided that I'm going to keep my clothes organized. It's a bad habit of mine to throw clothes all over my dresser, despite my otherwise picked up house, but I'm going to put them away each and every time I get them out, and clean out my closet twice a year to take old things to Goodwill. Just like that, I'm going to form a new habit. Seems like one more thing to do, but it's going to improve my quality of life.

Keep your car picked up.
Call your mom once a week.
Read your Bible.
Finish 1 book a month.
Meet with an accountability partner.
Take a regular date night.
Run a 5K, run a 10K, run a half marathon? Bet you can!

Start with something easy...anything, and improve your life! Don't tell me you can't, I know you can!

Family Pictures

Thank you, Jonathan, for such a beautiful life.

Happy half birthday, little Truett.

I love my family. (Thanks Hillary for the beautiful pics) 

End of story.