Looking Back with God

So this past year. My goodness, let's talk about that, huh? God has blessed me in so many unbelievable ways, but has also challenged me beyond what I thought was my capacity. Beyond words, actions, thoughts, and everything in between. But that's the thing with God. One thing I'm sure of is that he may challenge you, he may allow hard circumstances, but he will never ever leave you, or leave you the same. Praise to him for that!

Where to begin? In January I was celebrating having the most adorable 1 year old. It's hard to try and remember how that was, actually, even though it was a short year ago. Truett was struggling with keeping food down, still spitting up a lot, and I was working on the Learning Team at LifeChurch.tv. In February, Jonathan was diagnosed with epilepsy and having simple partial seizures, which has since been taken care of with medication and really great doctors! That same week, I got some surprising MRI results with "white matter" appearing, and took multiple tests and saw several doctors before being diagnosed with MS in March. Can I just say, God is so good? It's all good, and life is hard sometimes, but you know what people don't hear about? The day to day. The little things. The quiet whispers in each and every moment. The little things that God provides. The small ways that he speaks to me daily, luring me back to himself. He is there, by my side at all times, encouraging me and loving me...winning me over with his love. There's not other way to put it. God hears all, sees all, and knows all, and this year has been all about trusting.

I have changed my diet drastically. It's not for fun, trust me. It's a non-fat, gluten free, non processed food diet. I'm not sure how else to put it. It's not always fun, but I know that someday will come when I will be thankful for every choice I ever made when I have more kids, a long healthy life, and when God proves his faithfulness to me when I'm healed 100%. Trust me, the day will come, and the Lord should be exalted in every way. All good things come from him. ALL good things, and in my little mind, my small life is important to me, and I'm important to God, but I seriously am the smallest little thread in this grand tapestry that he is weaving, and I'm thankful to be the best Michelle I can be! That doesn't mean I have perfect health, it doesn't mean I never make mistakes, and it doesn't mean I'm a perfect mother.

It means I have trust in the Lord more than my feelings.
It means I know who I am and not just what I do every day.
It means I choose to believe that I am special and significant, and the smallest menial tasks matter to God.
It means that I am not good, but since God is, he has forgiven me and sees me as good anyway. (Can I get an amen?)

Ironic then, that at the end of this 2013, I have been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks. I hate to admit it, but then again, I don't. I'm real, I'm authentic, and I refuse to hide any part of my life. Cause guess what? I'm willing to bet there are at least 5 other people out there that are reading this blog, wondering if they're the only ones. And you're not. God is doing a work in me right now, just like I believe he can and will do a good work in you! In 2014, I will not be shaken. He holds my hand and he is right beside me. I refuse to take medication for panic, because I know that God hears me and he cares. The reality that shakes my physical body is sometimes linked to my mental state, and I simply have begun putting myself through a spiritual bootcamp. If I am weak, he will make me strong. When I am not good enough, he will restore my thoughts and my spirit. He has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love....and of a sound mind. I have always been a stubborn person, and I don't apologize for it. I'm strong in whatever I set my mind to, and I'm setting my mind to this. God can and will restore my thoughts, my life, and he will use me in remarkable ways for his glory!

In 2014, God will be glorified through me, I will have discipline in every aspect of my life, and I will, I will, I will...enjoy the ride.

It's going to be a good year at this house, you can count on it!

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

2 Timothy 1:7

Michelle

Comfort

Today during my devotions, I asked God this question:

If I were to put on one garment of clothing this week (figuratively), what would it be? What does it represent?

I sat for a while, looking out the window, asking God to answer me, and I heard a lot of peace and quiet. I didn't hear many words from the Lord, which is fine. Perhaps it wasn't the best question, but I waited and listened anyway. Then I began to see in my mind, co. I'm not sure what I was hoping for, but co didn't make much sense. Please don't stop God. What is it? What is the word? Help me grow into who you have planned for me to be, and teach me what I need to learn so that I can do your will! I'm listening. I'll do whatever you ask, Lord. And then it came... comfort. Put on comfort. Learn it and know what I say about comfort, so that you can be there for others in their time of need this week. 

In a million years, I would not have thought to stop and read about God's comfort today. But because it just takes a few moments to stop and listen, God could talk with me, and I can be there for someone else this week. What do you want to ask God today? Take a moment of time, and sit, ask a question, and then listen for his voice. Just listen. He'll come through for you too. He always comes through.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Being Perfect

It's hard being perfect. I am though, don't worry...in every way.

Bahaha, hopefully you don't think I'm serious, because if I ever told a joke, that would be it. We all have flaws! If you're reading this today and you think you're perfect, this post isn't for you. If you're reading this and know you've got some issues, well then hopefully I can bring some hope today. Maybe God can use me in one little way on this beautiful Sunday afternoon.

Right now I want you to think of something you've purchased in the past that you loved loved loved, and probably paid a little too much for, but because you were so in love with it, you were never regretful for the tiniest millisecond. Have something in mind? What is it? For me, this may seem silly but I bought a nice raincoat for a trip. For whatever reason, raincoats are hard to find, and I looked and looked, but never had much luck. I'd find a few for a reasonable price, but they were never quite what I was looking for, so I would pass. When I found the perfect one, I thought it was about $40 overpriced, but still bought it. Am I sorry? No way! I needed a raincoat for the 7 days of stormy weather we were about to experience, and it was perfect! So perfect, in fact, that I went home to wear it around the cool, dry house all afternoon, just because. Come on, you know you've made purchases that you've loved that much before too! This jacket did, and still does the job on rainy days, it's super-cute, and fits perfect. It's worth every penny ever spent...to me. Now, if you asked my neighbor, Mr. Biggs, if he would have spent the same amount on the raincoat that I bought, I can assure you that the answer would be no. But the value isn't the same to him, because it doesn't fit him, he doesn't need or even want it, and he certainly wouldn't pay full price. See, it's not about how much was spent on the jacket, but about the value that it has specifically to ME. This is sometimes how God sees us in so many ways. He made you unique, he thinks you're super-cute, that you fit perfectly in his plan, and that you're worth a high price! You're not like your best friend Lisa, because you're not made to do what Lisa does. You are unique to the purpose God put inside of YOU, and there is no amount of money that changes your value to him. You might have a little stain or rip here and there, but he's keeping you forever, because there is nothing he wants more than exactly what you are. God has big plans for your life, and you're beyond valuable to him. 1 Corinthians 7:23 says, "God paid a high price for you, so don't be enslaved by the world."

In other words, don't waste time being consumed by what others think, how you can fit in, why you don't have this or that gift, or how come your life doesn't seem as good as so-and-so. Don't knock yourself down for your failures in the past...because, let's face it, aren't they in the past? Let it go. I sometimes forget how valuable I am to God, but he bring me right back to it often. I'm special to him, and of indescribable worth. He thinks I'm beautiful, and I'm perfectly lovable just as I am in his eyes. I'm not perfect, and although I'm striving to be more and more like Christ every day, I don't kill myself for my mistakes. I apologize, learn from them, and get up and try again. In the process, I'm becoming a stronger person, a better wife, a good mom, and a better friend. Maybe it's time for a few of you out there to start seeing yourself as God sees you, huh? Maybe today is your day to start figuring out what makes you tick, and what God put inside of you, and go do that! I can guarantee that you'll never be happier than you will be when you're right in the middle of God's will. Yep, guaranteed.

As a side note, if you don't know where to start discovering what God has planned for your life, this is a great free, online tool to help! http://www.chazown.com

Memorizing Scripture

I've never had a conventional thought life, where I can think at the drop of a hat like some people can. I feel that I'm full of great ideas though when I'm truly relaxed and in my element. You know how it goes, right? Am I the only one that has great ideas in the shower or on a long walk?

So, I was sitting at the bank drive-thru the other day, patiently waiting for my turn, listening and humming along to David Dunn, and I had this crazy thought: why don't I memorize the whole Bible? Like I said, a little crazy audacious!

I'm not planning on memorizing the whole Bible, but I did consider at least starting with larger chunks. There is so much value in knowing God's Word. I've learned that it can't help me if I don't know it, and I know it by reading it and memorizing it, what else?! There are so many times that I quote a verse to myself but I can't remember where it's found. I'm forever bad about knowing verse locations, although I can quote you the actual words (which are more important anyway) all day long.

Well, I'm crazy enough to think that I could and should memorize entire chapters and books of the Bible. Why not? Maybe I'll start with Philippians. You can't go wrong with an encouraging letter from Paul!

Life is precious

My devotions today were so spot on. Never in my life have I felt like God was writing a book based on each day of my life, one day at a time, just for me. I have been struggling with keeping Truett on a schedule, and it sometimes wears me out always rearranging things to make sure he is taken care of. I sure don't mind the busyness and I LOVE taking care of him, but it is hard to let go of the schedule at times because I find such comfort in knowing what to expect, when so much of life these days is unexpected. And then came my morning whispers from God from Jesus Calling (which I highly recommend)...

"Do not fear changes, for I am making you a new creation, with old things passing away and new things continually on the horizon. When you cling to old ways and sameness, you resist My work within you. I want you to embrace all that I am doing in your life, finding your security in Me alone. It's easy to make an idol out of routine, finding security within the boundaries you build around your life. Although each day contains 24 hours, every single one presents a unique set of circumstances. Don't try to force-fit today into yesterday's mold. Instead, ask Me to open your eyes, so you can find all I have prepared for you in this precious day of Life."

HELLO!

Isaiah 46:4

A few reminders

God isn't late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn't want anyone lost. He's giving everyone space and time to change. 2 Peter 3:9

You got me when I was an unformed youth, God, and taught me everything I know. Now I'm telling the world your wonders; I'll keep at it until I'm old and gray. Psalm 71:17-18

You eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. Matthew 6:22

We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it. Proverbs 16:9

Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit--you choose. Proverbs 18:21